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Practising after newborn

1K views 15 replies 9 participants last post by  Mrblackbat 
#1 ·
My partner and I had our first child about a month ago & it's coincided with my resurgence in playing (I think the inspiration to get back into playing partly came from the impending little guy!).

However, I have a full time job, and obviously have duties to help with the baby which supercede my practise; making dinner, changing, giving my partner a break from the baby etc. I'm managing to squeeze a half hour to hour in to practise after all this, but I'm aware this can end up late. I inadvertantly got carried away the other day and was still practising at 10:20pm and got a polite complaint from my next door neighbour who was trying to sleep for an early shift.

I was wondering how people manage this situation? I'm trying to juggle a few things: making sure I get the time in, doing it in a place where neither the baby nor my neighbours get woken/annoyed (garage good for the baby, not so much the neighbours; house good for neighbours, not so much the baby) and ensuring all this happens at sociable enough hours that I can be up for work and that I have time for my partner as well! Certainly not enough hours in the day at the moment....
 
#2 ·
15 years ago when my daughter was born I felt guilty trying to practice when I was supposed to be having 'family' time. So I decide to start getting up at 4:30am and do my music from 5-7. At first I played whisper quiet but over time I'm now at full volume. Not only do I get a regular session in nearly every day but both my kids (and wife) can sleep through anything. Although my kids are still in the teenage stage, I hope that I'm setting a good example to continue work everyday at some we love.
 
#3 ·
I was in the same situation two years ago (and I think I asked here on SOTW, too).

Like A Greene I wanted to both inspire me and my daughter into music as an example of something I love and like you I had to juggle a little. Here's how I kept up with playing:

1) Moved my alarm clock from 8:00 to 6:30. This will give you a lot of extra time and you'll feel exhausted anyway, with a toddler :D Clearly I can't play saxophone this early in the morning, but I use the extra time either to do some work (I have to deal with lot of emails and quotations) or to play a digital piano. It's not a saxophone but it trains your ear and will give you a deeper understanding of harmony which, in turn, will make you a better musician, if not a better saxophonist.

2) I invested in cheap, Chinese instruments I don't care about. I constantly have my curved soprano in my car's trunk that I'm able to play in the car when I'm not working (being a salesman helps in staying long time in a car). I also bought a cheap tenor and I sometimes play in the fields around home.

3) I enrolled in a Jazz conservatory class. As counter-intuitive it may seem given the initial lack of time it works on many levels:
3a) Conservatories do have rooms where you can practice when you have a moment (and your horn is in the trunk) without bothering neighbours
3b) A good teacher, if you happen to find one, will give you tons of tips on how to practice in a very efficient way
3c) It keeps you motivated even when you just want to quit
3d) You have the opportunity to play with other musicians without the trouble of finding a gig

4) I stopped worrying too much about how good I play. As a result I play much better :)

5) I started listening REALLY to records. You can learn a lot away from your instrument (but it will make listening to music a lot less enjoyable, for a while, as you'll do it like it's a job)

6) I set my priorities clearly. When my daughter is awake I play with her. It's so much more enjoyable than playing saxophone that I'm sure you'll do the same.
 
#4 ·
Some really good points there, thanks.

6 is absolutely true; at no point am I sat with my boy in my lap wishing he'd go to sleep so I can go off and play. The point about not worrying how good I am is something I came to last time I got "back into playing" and found the stuff I played and recorded then was more enjoyable & because of that it was better in any case. Instead of trying to play mega fast burn up swing stuff with ALL the notes, just playing something simple and lyrical over a ballad or medium swing sounds so much better.

Unfortunately I'm already up at 6 to walk the dog and be on time for the train etc (I admire your commitment A Greene to be up at 4:30!), but I have bought a cheap soprano which is light enough to carry to work; thinking about maybe doing some busking when (more if I get one these days) on lunch.

The conservatory is a good shout, though may have to wait a while just yet, my partner really needs me home as soon as possible after work to give her that much needed break, but maybe when he starts getting a little older it'll be an option.

And listening is something I do on the train; its 50 minutes a day when it's actually desirable to get headphones on and when there's not much else I can do. I think you're right about making it truly focussed listening though, perhaps having goals to be able to sing a specific solo back after a journey in order to transcribe it etc.

Thanks for the input, much appreciated.
 
#6 ·
My partner and I had our first child about a month ago & it's coincided with my resurgence in playing (I think the inspiration to get back into playing partly came from the impending little guy!).

However, I have a full time job, and obviously have duties to help with the baby which supercede my practise; making dinner, changing, giving my partner a break from the baby etc. I'm managing to squeeze a half hour to hour in to practise after all this, but I'm aware this can end up late. I inadvertantly got carried away the other day and was still practising at 10:20pm and got a polite complaint from my next door neighbour who was trying to sleep for an early shift.

I was wondering how people manage this situation? I'm trying to juggle a few things: making sure I get the time in, doing it in a place where neither the baby nor my neighbours get woken/annoyed (garage good for the baby, not so much the neighbours; house good for neighbours, not so much the baby) and ensuring all this happens at sociable enough hours that I can be up for work and that I have time for my partner as well! Certainly not enough hours in the day at the moment....
Around 2000, I had a baby and another on the way. I also got back into shedding hard around that time so I know how you feel. What I did was practice at night after my wife and baby went to bed. They would usually be in bed around 7-8PM. Usually I would watch TV from that time until 10-11. Instead of watching tv, I would go in a front room and practice my soprano as quietly as I could. This was during the time where I was working o n my approach note material so I would put on a play along very softly and play along to it. I would do this every night from 7-midnight. Sometimes I would need a break so I would watch tv a little but I would still hold my soprano and run through the lines in different keys without playing. I honestly think this was one of the most productive time periods of my life as far as the saxophone goes.........
 
#7 ·
First of all, MrBlackCat, congratulations to you and your partner!

For right now, the suggestions given are all good.

How long's your lunch break at work? The reason I ask is because that's when I get in my practice time -- 45'-60' is better than nothing, and I'm lucky to have a place to play without bothering anyone.

Speaking from experience (I have a 5 year old and a 1-1/2 year old), and you've already found this out, playing at home is difficult.

You could get a saxmute, the plastic case one in which you put the horn. I got one for alto, and it does cut down the volume drastically, but I never really liked it, although you could use it to play in the garage without bothering the neighbors.

Or how about the Roland Aerophone? Not a real sax, but it's the closest thing to one apart from the Synthophone, which actually IS a real sax, but with electronics built-in. Horrendously expensive, though.

In any case, congratulations once again, and lemme tell'ya, the day will come when baby will want to play the sax too, "Me, me, me!" Have fun!

Kenneth
 
#8 ·
Cheers! I mever had the proud dad thing on my to do list, but now it happened... well I'm definitelt a proud dad!

Lunch break definitely being pencilled in, though I'm in one of those decision maker type roles where lunch often gets sideswiped!
 
#11 ·
I've been thinking about looking for an old thread to talk about this again. Even if it's just to complain.
So, I have a very time consuming job where there is no place to practice. I live in an LA suburb with small lots with homes fairly close, so there is no playing late or early.
I have 2 kids now. One is almost 3 and the other is 9 months old. The wife is a lawyer and she works part time, but part time for a lawyer is not really part time. I started to play again around 2012 after 2 decades away...
So, after the first kid, I didn't pay for about 2-3 months. There are couples who have an easy child who feeds well and grows well. Not so much with either of our kids. Not sick or in the hospital or anything, but not really thriving initially. Anyway, eventually I found the best time to practice for me would be days when I was home during the day between naps. This of course is not as often as I would like. Some week, that would be 0-2 days a week. Other weeks would be like 5 days. Before children, I used to get in even 20-30 min after work, before dinner. But that time is long gone.
After the 2nd kid... well... I can count on my 2 hands the number of times I have had time to play in the past 9 months.
Now that my first kid is in preschool, (BTW, wow, what a money drain, but I digress), I am starting to once again figure out where and when I can practice.
I knew a colleague whose husband sound proofed the garage and would turn his amps up to "11" a couple nights a week without bother any of his neighbors or family. I have thought about something like that, but I'm afraid they are exaggerating and I will end up wasting a lot of money trying to soundproof a 2 car garage. Oh, and the neighbors have a big dog in their yard which I will likely bother no matter how well I sound proof.

Anyway for me, music is a passionate hobby, but not what puts food on table and the mortgage paid. So, I try to fit it in where I can.
Kids are never gonna be this age anymore and I don't want to miss any time with them. The wife obviously works her butt off while still cooking almost everyday for us and pumps breast milk at work and... Women have it hard. Let's leave it there. So, I obviously try and cook whatever limited gastronomic repertoire I have. Wow. not sure what is worse now, my talents as a musician or as a cook. I have to say that in the last 3 years, my cooking has improved more than my musical abilities. Family needs trump my wants I guess.

I have no solutions. Sorry. As we add new additions to our family, we have to give a bit more of ourselves. that's the deal.
Good luck with the little one and oh, the sax. :)
 
#13 ·
Its not really waking the baby I'm bothered about; more the time to be able to practise after all the stuff I need to do to help with the baby after a day at work and not be taking the **** with my neighbours. Managed to squeeze fifteen minutes in tonight before the 10PM watershed. My soprano palm key intonation is getting better all the time!
 
#16 ·
First lunch break practise session today, on my soprano mostly cause it's cheap and light compared to my tenor/alto. Found a nice spot in a square with a massive building site on one side so a few places to hide behind some weird pieces of concrete "art". Bit self conscious at first, but gradually got over that when most people passing through didn't seem to care.

Spent the time trying to learn A Foggy Day (melody and basic chord structure) by heart rather than a proper practise session, interspersed with bits of noodling and trying to fine tune my intonation on the top end. Only got one heckle, which wasn't really a heckle, pointing out I wouldn't get much money hiding away buksing....
 
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