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How to read a for sale ad

2K views 7 replies 7 participants last post by  Sacks Of Phones 
#1 ·
If you read: [Headline with at least one obvious spelling mistake]
It means: I am dickslecksick, wait, dyslequsic, no, dizleczic, hm, dyslequesique? and, as of yet, have not discovered the miracle of spell check.

If you read: For sale is a [year, brand, kind] saxophone.
It means: This is not mine. The thing is as important to me as a bag of rice in China.

If you read: It plays so much better than the one of my [insert someone meaningful the seller knows, like:] cousins' inlaws' sister.
It means: What, you don't know my cousins' inlaws' sister? Good, because this thing is so much better, dude, you won't believe how much better ....[and so on].

If you read: It has braised tone holes.
It means: I watched a Julia Child video lately.

If you read: This is the same vintage as [insert famous player] played in his/her concert 1976 in Helsinki.
It means: You might be great, and you know what stands in you way to greatness? Your money. Let me take care of that obstacle.

If you read:...and the liquor is likely original.
It means: Sorry, I cannot be bothered writing a correct ad. Actually, I am not even really sorry.

If you read: It is a killer player (all caps optional).
It means: Wanted for involuntary manslaughter in 7 States? No, wait, is it 8? It was part of this marauding herd of Saxophones that are all killers and are all sold on this site. No, really.

If you read: It has some older pads, a couple of dings & dents and might have some scratches, the lac is at about 10,2%-95,7% and the side octave key may need attention.
It means: How am I supposed to know...anything meaningful about that instrument. I am only selling that thing.

If you read: ..and you might want to set it up with your local technician.
It means: I do not want to make promises because then I do not need to keep them.

If you read: Pictures upon request.
It means: I was so busy writing this lousy ad that I am exhausted right now and cannot click the relevant buttons to provide even the most rudimentary information. I am sure you understand.

If you read: Please have a look at the pics:
It means: Hey, professional that I am, I am providing useful information. Except that I used the auto-out-of-focus option. And I used the flash because we all like to look at grainy halos of light reflected off shiny brass surfaces, don't we?

If you read: The absolute fixed non-negotiable, absolute steal and no trade price is...
It means: Acquisition price + 20% realistic markup + a couple of percentage points for price reductions + wild phantasy markup + MkVI or SBA trade = egregiously sounding number.

If you read in the choir of commenters: "Beautyfull, wow, stunning, good luck with the sale".
It means: There are current academic research projects ongoing trying to tease out what the cause or benefit of these comments are, to no avail at the present time. In the year 2032, after the robots and AI have taken over, this question will still stand unanswered.

If you read in the choir of commenters: "Oh, I would snap it up right now but I just bought a 1867 Counresoune Liberty Tenor in original Antimony plate, therefore I am lacking the funds".
It means: Beans & rice and no gas money for me and my family for the next 8 weeks. Also no Insulin for grandma. They all understand, totally. My kids plan to become divorce lawyers, clever, and so talented. And, I think you really, really need to know this.

If you read choir of commenters: I have a Ytterbium plated 1917 Counresoune Liberty Tenor, but I had to sell it because [winding story]. Now I play [insert Sax offered here], but I never should have sold...
In means: At this point the sales thread is devoid of any meaning whatsoever.

Making things worse, next, a lively discussion develops if Counresoune Tenors came in Ytterbium or Neodymium plate and which one sounded "darker", with each involved individual invoking his (and by that point it will be only males) implacable record as metallurgists.

The poster lowers the sale price by a step or two, sounding either surprised or insulted that no one did bite.

The Yt vs Nd discussion moves to a different thread, where it repeats itself, involving the same contributing authors, indefinitely. This is what J.P. Sartre had in mind when he described hell.

Eventually, after many iterations, the sax is sold for an undisclosed price. Because this would empower the consumer, and who wants that?
 
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#2 ·
I would have to agree with you about spelling errors. When I read a three sentence ad with five obvious spelling errors, what that says to me is "this is someone I don't want to have to depend on."

Also, when I see somebody list a price, then on the same day respond to their own ad in order to list slightly lower price, then a few hours later a slightly lower one, and on and one like that for days and weeks, what it says to me is "I was looking for a sucker with my original price, which I intentionally made about much higher than I would ever expect to get, and now I'm going to keep posting new lower prices in $10 increments in order to bump my ad for the next two weeks until I can finally get rid of this item."

But hey, that's the nature of the marketplace. If you can't read the red flags, you'll probably get what you deserve.
 
#5 ·
Also, it's one thing if you say an item is killer or a monster once a in a while but if you use those words in every single for sale ad it's a bit transparent that this is more of a sales technique than the fact that you own every killer saxophone product ever made..........(is that a run on sentence?..........)
 
#7 ·
Ahaha funny !!

But, the best 2 deals i made there ware no photos. The first one was made by an old man who had a nokia 3310 (not joking) and the second one by a crazy mind guy... But, ofc, both deals ware in my home town so i managed to speak directly to this guys on the phone and ofc i could watch the saxes with my own eyes before buying them.

I actually think i got them because they had no photos :D
 
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