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Thread: Take the GAS Test!

  1. #1
    Distinguished SOTW Member/Sax Historian paulwl's Avatar
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    Default Take the GAS Test!

    In response to Pinnman's request for a numerical scoring system to quantify saxophone-based Gear Acquisition Syndrome (GAS), I offer the following scale.

    For every saxophone you own over one each of SATB, give yourself 10 points.
    - For each sax that is the same pitch as another sax, add 5 points.
    - For each sax that hasn't been played in more than six months, add 5 points.
    - For each mouthpiece in excess of the number of playable saxes, add 2 points.
    - For each mouthpiece that hasn't been played in more than six months, add 2 points.
    - For each mouthpiece marked with the words NEW YORK or HOLLYWOOD, add 10 points.
    - For each mouthpiece professionally refaced, add 5 points.
    - For each mouthpiece professionally refaced more than once, add 20 points.
    - For each sax not currently playable, add 5 points.
    - For each sax that has remained unplayable for more than one year, add 10 points.
    - For each sopranino, bass, or sax in a key other than Bb or Eb, add 20 points.
    - If you own or have ever owned more than one bass sax at a time, add 100 points.
    - For each weirdo instrument such as straight alto, typewriter, slide, plastic body, padless, tubax, etc., add 25 points.
    - For each High Pitch, manual octave key, experimental, prototype, or 19th century Franco-Belgian horn with little round blobs instead of roller keys, add 40 points.
    - For a full-size contrabass, add 200 points.

    Classifications:

    0-9 points: You are relatively free of GAS. Blow in peace, and remember that an artist never blames his tools.
    10-49 points: You have a roving eye but still put most of your air through the horn. Stay focused!
    50-99 points: You may have GAS. If you're either spending more time acquiring gear than playing, or acquiring more gear than you'll have time to play, open an eBay store or seek support in SOTW Forum.
    100-199 points: You have GAS. In addition to the remedies previously discussed, family intervention may be necessary, along with moving to a smaller living space.
    200-499 points: You have Bipolar-Acquisitive Disorder with GAS ("BAD GAS"). In BAD GAS phase, your living space HAS become smaller. Your family has either intervened or left completely. If you have ever attempted to play more than 3 saxophones at once, or gone more than a year without needing to buy reeds, you definitely have BAD GAS.
    500 or more points: You are a GAS Hoarder, Obsessive Genus ("GAS HOG"). Why are you reading this? Go look at The Marketplace. Or eBay. Or netinstruments.com. Or Craigslist. Or the classifieds. Or...
    Last edited by paulwl; 02-18-2006 at 04:37 PM.

  2. #2
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    Only at 31 - Still in good shape!!!!

  3. #3

    Default GAS

    Paul,
    I love it.

    The best definitions and diagnose, so far.

  4. #4
    SOTW Forum Adminstrator fballatore's Avatar
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    Wow - just missed - 98 points. Anybody have an alto mouthpiece for sale??

    Paul - Brilliant!

    "You can play a shoestring if you're sincere." - John Coltrane

    "If you can't play in time and in tune the rest doesn't matter." - Keith Ridenhour

  5. #5
    Distinguished SOTW Member/Bass Sax Boss saxtek's Avatar
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    My favorite poll so far, and brilliantly composed!

    My score was 2,275 and I'm proud of it. If I had the chance to do it all over again, I'd do the same thing.

  6. #6
    Future Music Educator JPSaxMan's Avatar
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    Default

    Edit: After re-reading, I do have a slight case of GAS. With a score of 4, I have classical mouthpieces for my alto and tenor setups; those count as extra mouthpieces, right?

    Edit again: I now have a total GAS record of 16. I just got an Otto Link STM NEW YORK model tenor piece. I also don't intend on giving up the Dukoff piece that I currently have, so that's 4 points plus ten for the NY mouthpiece which equals 14 plus I have an extra mouthpiece for alto so my grand total is 16! A lil bit of gas never hurt anybody!
    Last edited by JPSaxMan; 03-24-2006 at 02:32 AM.
    JP
    Alumni Mansfield University 2012 - Bachelor of Arts in Music
    Acts 16:31

  7. #7
    Distinguished SOTW Member/Sax Historian paulwl's Avatar
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    1,865...I'm a BAD GAS HOG, I am.



    Glad everyone's having fun with the poll. It was fun to do.
    Last edited by paulwl; 02-18-2006 at 02:53 PM.

  8. #8
    The most prolific Distinguished SOTW poster, Forum Contributor 2014 gary's Avatar
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    42 points: "Roving Eye".

    Mouthpieces did me in. Otherwise, semi-poverty being what it is, I'd be around zero.
    ____________________________________________________
    You can't blow it if you haven't lived it.

    TK Melody UL soprano
    Selmer S80 Serie II alto
    Julius Keilwerth SX90R tenor


  9. #9
    SOTW Administrator kcp's Avatar
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    58 points - I may have GAS

    This was fun. Thanks for sharing
    Kim
    SOTW Administrator

  10. #10
    Distinguished Member and Forum Contributor 2008 saxmanglen's Avatar
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    37 is all?

    I need to go shopping!

    Isn't having a smoking section in a restaurant like having a peeing section in a swimming pool?

    http://www.facebook.com/UnfilteredJazz

    http://www.youtube.com/user/saxmanglen



  11. #11
    The most prolific Distinguished SOTW poster, Forum Contributor 2014 gary's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by saxmanglen
    37 is all? I need to go shopping!
    Glen - your only problem is all the time and energy you spend cramming dentures into poor,
    unsuspecting animals!
    ____________________________________________________
    You can't blow it if you haven't lived it.

    TK Melody UL soprano
    Selmer S80 Serie II alto
    Julius Keilwerth SX90R tenor


  12. #12

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    81 points - good thing I sold all those "extra" altos.

  13. #13
    Distinguished Member and Forum Contributor 2008 saxmanglen's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by gary
    Glen - your only problem is all the time and energy you spend cramming dentures into poor,
    unsuspecting animals!


    Last edited by saxmanglen; 02-18-2006 at 03:47 PM.

    Isn't having a smoking section in a restaurant like having a peeing section in a swimming pool?

    http://www.facebook.com/UnfilteredJazz

    http://www.youtube.com/user/saxmanglen



  14. #14

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    How many points do you get for owning two bass clarinets?
    A horn in the hand is worth two on the stand

  15. #15
    Forum Contributor 2009 saxophrenic's Avatar
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    Guilty as Charged!



    81 here - not comittable yet!
    Chuck
    Make Music - Not War.

  16. #16

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    Thanks, Paul, a brill scoring system.

    A score of 73, about a quarter of what it would have been two or three years ago, so, with so much expired GAS (?!*%^?), I feel fairly safe.

    I'm fascinated that, with the red line at 500, two people are in four figures! Who is proud enough to top saxtet's score?!!

  17. #17

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    Only 176. I knew that Buescher C soprano wouldn't have been "too much."

    Thanks for the great post, Paul.

  18. #18
    Distinguished SOTW Member/Forum Contributor 2009
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    This thread has been here a while! I never noticed. Wow, it really hits the nail on the head. My professionally refaced tenor mouthpieces shot my score up to 66. Guilty as charged. My score would be higher but my current lack of income is doing the job at controlling my GAS.

  19. #19
    Distinguished SOTW Member/Sax Historian paulwl's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by sopranofreak
    How many points do you get for owning two bass clarinets?
    Oof. There we get into entirely new territory...factors such as low Eb vs. low C, wood vs. plastic, jazzer vs. pit doubler vs. orchestral, how many sopranos you have, matched pairs, R-13s vs non R-13s, Boehm/full Boehm/Albert/Oehler/Reform/Orthodox/Catholic...

  20. #20
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    Hi, my name is Bob. (Hi, Bob!). I'm a 66. If I count clarinets and an EWI, I'm actually a 149. PA equipment - don't go there!

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