In response to Pinnman's request for a numerical scoring system to quantify saxophone-based Gear Acquisition Syndrome (GAS), I offer the following scale.
For every saxophone you own over one each of SATB, give yourself 10 points.
- For each sax that is the same pitch as another sax, add 5 points.
- For each sax that hasn't been played in more than six months, add 5 points.
- For each mouthpiece in excess of the number of playable saxes, add 2 points.
- For each mouthpiece that hasn't been played in more than six months, add 2 points.
- For each mouthpiece marked with the words NEW YORK or HOLLYWOOD, add 10 points.
- For each mouthpiece professionally refaced, add 5 points.
- For each mouthpiece professionally refaced more than once, add 20 points.
- For each sax not currently playable, add 5 points.
- For each sax that has remained unplayable for more than one year, add 10 points.
- For each sopranino, bass, or sax in a key other than Bb or Eb, add 20 points.
- If you own or have ever owned more than one bass sax at a time, add 100 points.
- For each weirdo instrument such as straight alto, typewriter, slide, plastic body, padless, tubax, etc., add 25 points.
- For each High Pitch, manual octave key, experimental, prototype, or 19th century Franco-Belgian horn with little round blobs instead of roller keys, add 40 points.
- For a full-size contrabass, add 200 points.
0-9 points: You are relatively free of GAS. Blow in peace, and remember that an artist never blames his tools.
10-49 points: You have a roving eye but still put most of your air through the horn. Stay focused!
50-99 points: You may have GAS. If you're either spending more time acquiring gear than playing, or acquiring more gear than you'll have time to play, open an eBay store or seek support in SOTW Forum.
100-199 points: You have GAS. In addition to the remedies previously discussed, family intervention may be necessary, along with moving to a smaller living space.
200-499 points: You have Bipolar-Acquisitive Disorder with GAS ("BAD GAS"). In BAD GAS phase, your living space HAS become smaller. Your family has either intervened or left completely. If you have ever attempted to play more than 3 saxophones at once, or gone more than a year without needing to buy reeds, you definitely have BAD GAS.
500 or more points: You are a GAS Hoarder, Obsessive Genus ("GAS HOG"). Why are you reading this? Go look at The Marketplace. Or eBay. Or netinstruments.com. Or Craigslist. Or the classifieds. Or...