Not to often anymore do I feel like ranting, but I just need to vent tonight as I just hired musicians for 2 Musicals (about 11 people each) for a good chunk of change. If I pay well ... I want it done right. I am not asking for favors, I am employing musicians
I REALLY like doing things the way they were intended to be done.
Below is a list of things that have actually happened over the years and some more than once or twice.
No, I will not hire you to play the reed 3 Oboe doubling book. Its because you don't play oboe. No you cant just do it on flute. NO YOU CANT DO IT ON C Clarinet. and Furthermore NO YOU CANT PLAY IT ON SOPRANO SAXOPHONE!!!!! In short - if there is somebody out there who is able and available to play that book - I will hire them. If nobody is available, I will look for new players that can do it. If I still fall short - THEN AND ONLY THEN will I THINK about covering it on another instrument.
As a repair tech you wouldn't want me to use clarinet pads in your piccolo would you? Why should the audience listen to a C Clarinet when an Oboe was the intention?
Why did I not hire you this year? Well, I couldn't find a reason to. Every musician has an upside and a down side to hiring them. As along as the upside outweighs the downs side, you are valuable as a musician to me. If you were the most amazing player on the planet then I could overlook the fact that you complain alot. Heck I might even overlook the rides you need all the time to the gig. But you are just an average player, with alot of un necessary drama. Thats why I didn't hire you this year!
Why doesn't the drummer own a ratchet? A bell tree? Slide whistle? A set of bells that wasn't bought at a Toys R Us? It always seems like there is SOMETHING a drummer needs and doesn't own. I don't want to hear the excuse that it is too expensive when I am sitting there with my Weissman Picc, Haynes Flute, Buffet Clarinet, Mark VI Alto and all the associated gear in front of me!! Oh ya - thats why I didn't hire YOU!
You are my friend. You were not the right one for the gig this year. I know you can play flute but why should I hire you - the flute doubler - to play the "All Flute" book this year when I can hire a professional Flautist that will sound amazing and eat the book up and make it seem like child's play? Yes I know you can get the job done. I just want the people hiring me to be happy so I can keep being their contractor for years to come. It's not a personal decision - please understand that. Maybe next year (unless you cry too much about it)
Yes I hired you last year. No I don't have anything for you this year. Don't call me - I'll call you.
No - I want you on the whole run. 3 Rehearsals and 3 Shows. I don't want you to sub out 2 dates. Why Should I hire you to do 2/3rds of the show when the guy that would sub for you can do just as good of job and he is available for the whole gig?
What do you mean you are sending in a sub tomorrow? Is there a problem? No, you just got a higher paying gig for tomorrow night? Does that mean that if I can find somebody who will play the rest of the run for less money I can call you and tell you to stay home? (actually heard a contractor say that to a musician .... IT WAS AMAZING!!)
I feel better now.