How do I justify to parents?

[tplyons]

Alright, ten years of alto sax, two years playing the school's tenor, and I've nearly talked my mom into buying me a used soprano. But I want to talk her into a flute and clarinet as well so I can be sufficient across all major woodwinds (without the double reeds of course) What would be a good reason to tell her that I need these instruments?

[saxmanglen]

What's wrong with "earning" the money yourself and purchasing the instruments on your own? My folks met me halfway when I decided on a Yanagiswa tenor back in the late 70's. Just my 0.02.

[tplyons]

I fund my guitar and bass playing, car and all extra-curricular activities. They've agreed to fund my sax playing as long as I play it as part of my education. I can't afford claritnets, flutes or more saxes.

[Jon B. Bop]

If I was your dad, I'd say "one thing at a time". Sounds like you've got a pretty full musical plate. If She'll buy the Soprano, Don't push it!

[tplyons]

If I was your dad, I'd say "one thing at a time". Sounds like you've got a pretty full musical plate. If She'll buy the Soprano, Don't push it!They do say that, they never hear me play saxes because I walk to and from school a mile and a half every day, definately not carrying them both ways. As far as bass, they're always telling me to turn down. But I always say sax is my first instrument because it is, and I would like to go farther with this talent I've been growing for 10 years.

[David Spiegelthal]

Tell your folks that if they don't buy you the instruments you want, you'll start hanging out with the bad kids at school and possibly start drinking alcohol or doing drugs. (Well, come to think of it, this approach COULD backfire.......)

[Dr G]

They do say that, they never hear me play saxes because I walk to and from school a mile and a half every day, definately not carrying them both ways...

Why not carry the horn home and practice? If you really want to further a career, you're going to need to master at least one instrument - not just own one of each. As a parent, I would not buy you more instruments. I would encourage you to play one well. Doubles come later - if ever. There are many truly great players that don't care to bother with doubles.

(Yes, I double/triple/more and I recognize that it slowed my progress the first 10-15 years or so.)

[tplyons]

They do say that, they never hear me play saxes because I walk to and from school a mile and a half every day, definately not carrying them both ways...

Why not carry the horn home and practice? If you really want to further a career, you're going to need to master at least one instrument - not just own one of each. As a parent, I would not buy you more instruments. I would encourage you to play one well. Doubles come later - if ever. There are many truly great players that don't care to bother with doubles.

(Yes, I double/triple/more and I recognize that it slowed my progress the first 10-15 years or so.)Doubling has already put me in high demand in bands, giving me more opportunities. I have been offered positions in many extra-curricular bands because my band directors have had a need for the versatility that I provide, playing alto sax, tenor sax, bari sax and guitar and bass. In my eyes, this versatility and high demand helps me as an overall musician, which is what I strive for.

[Dr G]

Yes, I was once young and knew all the answers too. Nowadays, well, I seem to know considerably less. Just ask a teenager. :lol:

[tplyons]

Yes, I was once young and knew all the answers too. Nowadays, well, I seem to know considerably less. Just ask a teenager. :lol:Don't get me wrong, I really appreciate the help, although I find many of you are taking the side of my parents, often as parents yourself. Sometimes I get bored of playing just alto and tenor, set them aside for some time, and end up playing guitar or bass excessively. These other instruments would provide an additional spark to keep my interest on woodwinds, and allow me to practice extensively.

[Mike Ruhl]

Don't get me wrong, I really appreciate the help, although I find many of you are taking the side of my parents, often as parents yourself.It's not about taking sides. It's about making wise decisions. If we parents sound like your parents, maybe there's a good reason for that...like maybe we're right. Remember, we've been you're age - you haven't been our age yet.


Sometimes I get bored of playing just alto and tenor, set them aside for some time, and end up playing guitar or bass excessively. These other instruments would provide an additional spark to keep my interest on woodwinds, and allow me to practice extensively.So you're wanting more instruments to relieve your boredom? That's not a good reason to keep buying instruments, unless you're paying for them yourself.

Your parents would probably be more impressed if you disciplined yourself to work on one instrument until you achieve a higher degree of proficiency. Do you take private lessons?

[Dr G]

Don't get me wrong, I really appreciate the help, although I find many of you are taking the side of my parents, often as parents yourself. Sometimes I get bored of playing just alto and tenor, set them aside for some time, and end up playing guitar or bass excessively. These other instruments would provide an additional spark to keep my interest on woodwinds, and allow me to practice extensively.

I'm not taking sides "as a parent", I'm stating a position based on my experience and how I would hope to change things if given a chance to do it again.

If you're getting bored practicing, seek new challenges. I'm still discovering things I don't know and I've only been playing for 30+ years. When you stop discovering, you stop growing as a person, as a musician. You sound like a potentially talented young musician. If you really want to make it, you need to push yourself rather than just "playing". I find it interesting to see that you chose the word "play" rather than "practice", "study" or "explore" . 8)

[mark_m]

I wouldn't say anyone is "taking sides" with your folks. If anything, you may well assume everyone here to be on "your side", in spirit.

But if some, here, with more experience than yourself, happen to agree with your parents, it could be you should simply give their advice some earnest consideration. Maybe even consider that your parents may have some experience that counts for something too... I know that might be asking a bit much:)

I have to say I am somewhat of your nature, I have always wanted to play a lot of different instruments, plus paint and sculpt and rebuild motorcycles and old trucks. I have gotten great satisfaction from these things, over a long period of time. But I am truly, as they say, a "jack-of-all-trades/master-of-none".

As time goes by, I believe you will find that those who specialize in one instrument will, on average, quickly surpass the jacks-of-all-trades, on their particular instrument, at least in regards to technical proficiency. So I think it's good advice to have a focus, as I now find myself needing to abandon everything else so I can focus on sax only, because I truly want to excel at it, find out how far I can get with it in the years that remain.

I do think you probably have time to continue exploring, and I think it's great to keep other instruments and explorations going, at some point you've got to follow your own heart/spirit/nose/whatever. BUT, it is unfair to expect your parents to fund this. I think it's reasonable to hope for them to buy you one instrument or perhaps more wisely to lease one instrument at a time for you. If you get that much, you have enough to work with and plenty to be thankful for.

Good luck!

[tplyons]

I have to say I am somewhat of your nature, I have always wanted to play a lot of different instruments, plus paint and sculpt and rebuild motorcycles and old trucks. I have gotten great satisfaction from these things, over a long period of time. But I am truly, as they say, a "jack-of-all-trades/master-of-none".

Thanks for the kind words, but as I see it, spanning across four saxes is hardly spreading too thin amongst different instruments. They each have their differences, but they are all variations of one instrument. The same way I see owning several varieties of guitars and basses. Despite a slight variance in playing, they, in the end result in a very similar thing.

Likewise, flute and clarinet, I don't see as a huge change from alto or tenor sax, especially clarinet. It will give me more practice playing in Bb, but the concert key flute is also appealing to me for that reason.

I find my interests to be very diverse, but at the same time, very consistent. When asked what I want to do in college, I give the same answer: a little bit of audio and electrical engineering, a bit of business, a bit of computer science, and a lot of music. Why? They're all for my various musical insterests: the audio engineering to produce, as well as the business for marketing myself as a musician and producer, the electrical engineering so I can tweak my amplifiers and effects for guitar to get "that" sound, and of course music, so of course, I can be the musician I want to be.

But other times, this is very helpful. On the side, I've learned mechanics, electrical work, plumbing, drywall, and a lot of other stuff, and there's virtually nothing I can't fix. I build, modify and repair my own guitars, make my own guitar cables, and in this, being a jack-of-all trades frees up enough money, working for myself as to the point where I can spend the money working my mind, instead of paying people to mow my lawn.

Wow, I really think I strayed from the subject... :lol:

[mark_m]

I'll also add that, as a parent, I wish my kids had half as much musical interest as you! Keep it up.

[tplyons]

I'll also add that, as a parent, I wish my kids had half as much musical interest as you! Keep it up.Thanks...funding can be sent to paypal@leuchtnet.com :D

[mark_m]

I don't think you've strayed at all, great to hear of someone else as multi-directional as I have been. My college prof's laughingly called me "the Rennaisance Man". What can I say. You will follow your own path.

As time goes on, you may find yourself needing to funnel your energies into fewer things so that you can make greater advance in one direction.

It is wonderful to be developing such a broad base of diverse abilities. I think you will naturally find the right way for yourself. But be understanding that it will be your own responsibility to make that all happen, and also recognize that there is wisdom in the advice of both your parents and those here who suggest that you focus sooner rather than later.

[mark_m]

Sorry, all my funding is spoken for:)

[Dr G]

Good luck in college. You'll find that - if you actually aspire to a degree - you will be required to hone your interests considerably. Sorry to break the news but you might as well hear it among friends. Yep, I'm a fellow dabbler - I worked in a guitar repair shop while attending UT, played bassoon in the orchestra, tenor in jazz ensemble, drums during marching season, played guitar in a Top 40 group 5 nights a week... dropped out. Went into the navy - became a nuke electrician on a submarine after teaching 3 years at nuclear prototype. Worked in the SCUBA industry after that - while playing in a fusion group in the Bay Area and teaching SCUBA on the side(as a certified instructor). Went back to college one more time - studied physics, built guitar amplifiers for local musicians, played/taught acoustic fingerstyle guitar... Typical late bloomer story - probably a product of "diverse interests" vs "focus". It paid off - I got my PhD just after I turned 40. I still wish I had MADE more time to DEVOTE to one instrument. I could be a monster player instead of merely very good.

Like I said, we wish you well. Best o' luck. 8)

[Jack W.]

Thanks for the kind words, but as I see it, spanning across four saxes is hardly spreading too thin amongst different instruments.

I have very mixed feelings about what to write, and yet I can't seem to help putting my two cents in. First of all, I have doubling in my blood (as do many people here, not saying it's better or worse), and so know what you're talking about. I honestly gave my best shot at concentrating on flute, my main instrument and first love amongst the woodwinds, about five years ago. I sold my alto sax and eventually even my piccolo. Only to replace the piccolo shortly. Then along came another alto sax. Then a soprano. Finally, with me kicking and screaming, a clarinet. And so on. I'm playing all these in church, pit orchestras, and other venues, and having the time of my life. I do not feel that learning the other woodwinds has diminished me as a musician -- quite the opposite.

(Disclaimer: This is actually a very contentious and debatable topic, on which there are many opinions, which I think we've had out to some extent in the "Doubling" area. My only point is that this amateur woodwind doubler has a number of respected professional musicians who agree, and a number who don't -- and I'm aware of both perspectives and, I hope, respect both.)

On the other hand, while I don't have children of my own, I do see the point of what these other parents are saying, namely that the fact that there is an issue of whether your parents pay for these other instruments or not. At my age (35), I buy all my own instruments and make my own decisions in that area. Some of the decisions have been good, some not. Sometimes I have had to deprive myself of other things in order to buy a new toy, sometimes I have decided to put off the new toy for a while. I am not bragging or ascribing unusual maturity to myself, just pointing out that this changes the entire situation.

So I can understand why your parents may be hesitant. Nor do I want to argue against the discipline of (and rewards from) focusing on one instrument. Nor do I wish to deny that this could be a desire that you outgrow in 3 or 5 or 10 years (heaven knows I had enough of those when I was your age, sorry because I think you must hate that phrase "when I was your age" :o ).

At the same time, I'd fully encourage you to keep the door open to the possibility, even if you can't buy all (or any) of the horns now. Not sure how this may be done. Are there any that you can borrow from the school perhaps? Maybe troll eBay (with help from others here please!!!) and score a decent student flute or clarinet for $50-100, and then get it fixed up as time and money allow?

Doubling is very rewarding and you might as well give it a try as much as circumstances allow. Oh yes, and if your mom says she'll buy you the soprano, by all means don't refuse. :)


Likewise, flute and clarinet, I don't see as a huge change from alto or tenor sax, especially clarinet. It will give me more practice playing in Bb, but the concert key flute is also appealing to me for that reason.

Ooooh ... take it from one who came to clarinet as the third instrument, there is a HUGE difference from saxophone on many fronts, even though tenor and soprano saxes are in the same key. I'd refer you to the posts in the "Doubling" area from those more capable than myself.

Enjoy the exploration at this time of your life, and while I'd urge caution like so many parents here, still I'd say leave the doubling door open as much as possible. I hope my long rant makes sense as I'm just trying to help. 8)

[Sigmund451]

tplyons, I only wish I had your energy, but I must agree with what several people have said here...not in defense of your parents but addressing your level of discipline and the need for a new spark to reignite your passion. In the mental health world for those depressed or afflicted with various other symptoms we speak of this as "The spending Cure". It has also come to represent the new cultural value of consumerism wherein we so frequently feel empty and satisfy this by participating in the act of acquisition.

Im not suggesting your ill, only impacted as most of us are on some level, by this condition. I am led to ask if you are attempting to fill to an existential void created by this eras collective loss of true passion and direction. At the risk of preaching you are walking, with the best of intentions, into a prision cell. Id suggest a hard look at your choices and direction. None of my business, Im sure, but I thought Id make it so for five minutes.