Beware The Curse of the Lame Busker!

[Dog Pants]

Ok, here's the deal. I'm talkin to to the Bootman yesterday about how I've seen a lot of really lame buskers on the alto lately. Bootman reckons there are more bad tenor players out there and I'll defer to his experience. Anyway, on the way home from Boot's place I collect my son. He plays Alto and is pretty good for a 10 year old (plays out of the Omnibook) We hop off the ferry, and there he is...the Lame Alto Busker So my son walks up, horn in hand, and says G'day. The "LAB" does the "patronise the child" thing and tells him to practice 2 hours a day "and then you can play anything." He asks my son which alto players he likes. Quick as a flash, the boy says "Charlie Parker and Eddie Vinson." The LAB then lectures my son on how Bird was a junkie and "he played junk. :evil: I had my tenor with me too and were it not for the fact that I have to trade it in soon, I would have introduced it to his upper colon :lol: . Then the LAB asks my son if he would like to hear some blues? The boy is a blues fanatic (some things breed true). I'm steamed by now so I drag the boy away. As we walk away, we hear what even the most charitable critic would'nt dare call blues sax. My son turns to me and says "Dad...That crazy man can't blow his nose...and he's wrong about Charlie Parker!" So I'm wondering. Does the LAB frequent your neck of the woods? What bad experiences have you had with him/her? And finally a warning...To speak his name is to invoke his deadly presence. You have been warned :lol:

[gary]

Never had any problems with sax-playing buskers, especially with attitude.
They weren't all good (but some were excellent) but that doesn't bother me. They're not keeping me from getting any jobs or giving the sax a bad name 'cause the listeners know the difference, pretty much. I've never had the experience you did. Sorry you had to have it with your boy in tow.

Since LAB likes alto and the blues, if you want to get his attention, maybe you should consider slipping him a copy of an Edgar Winter recording the next time you pass him by. :twisted:

[kcp]

Ah, buskers you know, they can't be all good. And the most of them have the nastyest attitude... That's why they are buskers.

[GT]

D P,

Sounds like your boy can handle himself pretty well. That's cool! :wink:

[tophatsax]

I was expecting the alternate Crossroads-type ending where your boy whips out his horn, plays some smokin' blues and walks away with a smile and two alto's (having won the buskers horn in the "Battle of the Buskers")

It's good news when your kids can spot the BS for themselves.

[Dog Pants]

Heh Heh :lol: No Crossroads ending yet. He's getting there though. BTW why is it that all kids have to play everything as fast as they possibly can? I pull him up on it and he comes back with "Bird plays it even faster Dad." My kingdom for a very cool VERY SLOW blues player to brainwash him with. Oh! I should point out that I didn't mean for this thread to be a put down of all buskers. I've known some great ones but seriously, I think I must have seriously P'd off the busking Gods because I swear these lame ones are stalking me. :lol:
And yes the boy can spot BS a mile away. He's an Aussie kid after all. Also his Grandpa and Grandma are cattle breeders, so you sort of learn to look out for it or you end up sinkin' in the stuff :D Speaking of cattle, if you have never heard it, give yourself a laugh and check out a tune called "Cows with Guns." Can't remember who played it but it's a crack up!

[tophatsax]

Dogpants,

Yeah, kids at that age (including my son) want to learn everything as fast as they can too, like starting with step 3 instead of getting the solid foundation of steps 1&2.

Cows with Guns sounds like an old Farside cartoon!

[Jonno]

Hey! Dogpants!
I was down at circular quay the other day and I saw the person who I think you are talking about! Did he play trumpet as well?

[sax_appeal]

I think that I might be the LAB in my area. I may be a good player (and just as modest) but it seems that nobody likes an alto busker who only plays classical.

When someone asked for something jazzier I played songbird...

...I'm not that lame.

[Dog Pants]

Whoa!!! Now I'm really freakin' out. :shock: It never occurred to me that the LAB might actually be on this forum. He's seen my face :Shocked: I'm sure you're a very good classical player Mr Super Alto Classical Busker. I didn't mean any harm and Oh s***. What are the odds? The guy could have seen which bus we jumped on too. Gotta go fellas. I'm packin' up and moving house. 8) Whadda think? Can you recognise me with the shades on??? This dude might be mentally unhinged or anything! Harri please remove all personal details from my profile ASAP. While you're at it Harri please nuke this whole thread before he sees it! Man I shoulda listened to my mother..."If you can't say something nice...."
Sax Appeal and Jonno, I'm sure it wasn't you guys. You cats are way too hip to be LAB's. I love your playing guys really!!!

[sessionsax]

Dog Pants,

I don't get you, but you are funny :lol:

[sax_appeal]

Take a chill pill. I'm not your lame alto busker, Rundle Mall is nowhere near any ferries, so that reduces the chance of it being me significantly. But thankyou, I am fantastic.

[Jonno]

Dogpants - If you are selling your house cheap (for quick sale) let me know....houses in Sydney are way too expensive and I would love to pick up a cheap one because of your misforutune!! :lol:
Relax......You jumped to conclusions, I said I thought I might have seen the same guy (I was not saying I am him as I dont busk) ........and Rundle Mall is in South Australia (for you Brits thats about 1600 km or 1000miles for you Americans away). I think you are safe.......FOR NOW! :twisted: :evil:

I dont think being a bad player or a bad player who busks (ie. LAB) is a problem at all. We were all bad players once (and even if only our neighbours had to hear us practicing thats bad enough), and there are always people who are better than us who would think that we are no good (cause we are not as good as them). The issue with the LAB in the first post is that he dogged out Parker and he sounds like he had an attitude. We all have opinions (I love Sanborn, some people hate him, thats life) but LAB took it over the top.

Rock On!
Jonno

[Dog Pants]

:lol: Fellas...I'm chilled. I can understand our overseas brothers and sisters taking me literally, but you two ought to know better. OK it wasn't that good a joke anyway. Funny thing is, I did a recoring today and played so poorly, I now qualify as a "Lame Tenor Busker." Sax Appeal...I've spent some time in South Oz a few years back. Great people, beer's **** though except for Coopers, which is the second best beer in the world :D Rundle street is the mall with all the great outdoor restaurants on it if I remember rightly. We drove from Blinman/Parachilna down to Adelaide, got booted out of town by the cops :P and then drove back to Sydney via the Great Ocean road. Hit a Kookaburra at 170 clicks too! Worlds unluckiest Kooka. Like a pillow fight gone wrong :D If you are ever in Sydney look me up and I'll shout you some of the locally brewed stuff.

[Jack Metcalf]

Dog Pants said...

beer's **** though except for Coopers, which is the second best beer in the world

So what am I suppose to do with all these Steinlagers?

[Dog Pants]

Nah...that's **** too Jack. Better send 'em down here and I'll get rid 'em for you :D

[jazzbluescat]

Best beer I've found 'round here is Foster's in a bottle. However, that takes a backseat to my Johnnie Walker red. :)

[Dog Pants]

Unless things have changed, the Fosters you get outside of Oz is what we'd call Fosters Export. The local Fosters is horse **** and no one down here touches it. Fosters Export is called Crown Lager here. but still many don't realise that. If you ever get Down Under, DON'T DRINK the FOSTERS! Had some good locally brewed stuff in NY but Budweiser ranks as possibly the worst beer I've ever had. And I've had the odd occasional brew :) For medicinal purposes only. Ain't it great the way this thread has moved on from Saxophones to something infinitely more important :lol: I think we should petition Harri and start a topic are for Beer, and other things alcoholic. I'd give it a day before some morally superior type would have us all carted off to AA :lol:

[HeavyWeather77]

Damn I want to go to Australia. You guys are a riot. Don't drink American pisswater (macro-brews); they make a few decent brews but market them as specialty beer (Killian's is made by the same people as Budweiser but you'd never know it). For some ACTUAL American beer you gotta go to the Northwest where you can find ten tasty local brews in every 7-11. Moose Drool from Missoula, Montana... Can't get that down here in Texas, dammit...

[Dog Pants]

:lol: Moose Drool!!! What a great name for a beer. Would make an excellent SOTW Forum handle too! Down here we have a micro brew actually called ****. The light version, for the weight conscious and those wishing to drive is called (you guessed it) PISSWEAK. :)

[Martin]

Hey Dogpants, don't you be hassling the poor buskers now.

How's things anyway?

[Paul Latanishen]

I went to NYC for the first time last month. I was shocked at the poor quality of the busking crowd. Seemed like everybody played sax...even saw one playing soprano. But wow, I was shocked. The cats in Baltimore aren't that good, but they don't play like the junkies..er...buskers from NY. I was really expecting better...

[DanY]

I know a guy who went to New York and saw Kenny Garrett and Jeff Watts busking in a park! apparently they had a crowd of about 200 digging them.

[Paul Latanishen]

I did get to see Watts while I was in NYC...at Birdland w/Brecker and Calderazzo...best live performance I've ever seen. Watts and Brecker were both outstanding, but Joey Calderazzo absolutely stole the show!

[HeavyWeather77]

I saw Branford with Tain and Calderazzo last week in Dallas (for FREE outside of an art museum!!!). It was the third time I've seen that group, and Calderazzo has done an admirable job filling Kenny Kirkland's shoes. And those are some impossible shoes to fill. Joey just plays beautiful music no matter what, even when he's flirting with girls in the crowd at the same time! And hey, you Aussies, I heard from Dave Douglas that there's a good jazz scene in Melbourne. What's the story, is that true?